Have you ever done something or something happen to you so one thing just clicked? i know that it doesn't make any sense of what i'm trying to say but i'm going to try to tell you in the best way i can.
We live our life the way we want to- or how we have to. I guess we all live and do the things we have to do but i do know our bodies and our life is made for something and we all do things naturally because our bodies are made that way and we grow up to just do these things- same thing with feelings. It comes naturally for us to like people, to like some things we do and things like that. What i'm trying to talk about has nothing to do with this, i'm just trying to put it in the right way,
If you've been doing something for some time- are you doing this thing because you like it or because you've done it and now you just think you like how things are because you've been doing this for some time? Or will it just stop one day? Will you one day just say no i don't want to do this, no i don't like this? If so- how will you react? will you get hurt or will you hurt someone? of if we take it the other way around, what if you do something with someone or whatever and you get bored after a while, you want more. What will happen? what will you do? The feeling of wanting more is not a feeling i like, if you have something that work greats and it's fine, why ruin it? To be honest i don't think about this until it hits me right across the face. If you do something and you like it this thing, this feeling, is new.That's a feeling i like. Then you go back to the same old same old and you now see how you want more than just that one thing, what will you do about it? This goes for everyone and almost everything- if you've had a taste of something more and "better" then you'll have a hard time going back. I think my friends will know exact what i'm talking about here so i just want to say that its not about that thing itself, this is bigger than what is going on, i'm not hurt, nobody is hurt here. I just saw something about what i can have and what i have, how i want it to be and how it is. I want to talk to someone about it but i'm not too sure people want to listen because we all live our life the way we want to and we do the things we want to and we think the way we want to. okaay that sounds wrong, i know my friends would listen but i really want them to understand that way i mean it and the way i see it. Do i regret doing the thing that made me see how it can be? a little, but i loved that feeling, i loved being in that moment and i want more of it, i want a lot more of it. I regret thinking the way i did today, in a way.
I right now kind of get the things i want from the two different things,i'm not super happy about it because i now know what "more" feels like but i'll work with it, do my best. The thing i think scared today is that it got to me that in the matter of time- i'm going to have nothing of this, and i don't want that at all- i'm scared. I am going to feel hurt and i'm going to feel alone. I think that i'm scared because this is just one more thing when people leave you, and i don't like it. I'm going to try to talk to my friends about it so i can fix my thinking, until then i'll do my best with what i got.
i just need to add that i'm still in a good mood, i had a downer last time i wrote but i'm on top of the world guys!
We live our life the way we want to- or how we have to. I guess we all live and do the things we have to do but i do know our bodies and our life is made for something and we all do things naturally because our bodies are made that way and we grow up to just do these things- same thing with feelings. It comes naturally for us to like people, to like some things we do and things like that. What i'm trying to talk about has nothing to do with this, i'm just trying to put it in the right way,
If you've been doing something for some time- are you doing this thing because you like it or because you've done it and now you just think you like how things are because you've been doing this for some time? Or will it just stop one day? Will you one day just say no i don't want to do this, no i don't like this? If so- how will you react? will you get hurt or will you hurt someone? of if we take it the other way around, what if you do something with someone or whatever and you get bored after a while, you want more. What will happen? what will you do? The feeling of wanting more is not a feeling i like, if you have something that work greats and it's fine, why ruin it? To be honest i don't think about this until it hits me right across the face. If you do something and you like it this thing, this feeling, is new.That's a feeling i like. Then you go back to the same old same old and you now see how you want more than just that one thing, what will you do about it? This goes for everyone and almost everything- if you've had a taste of something more and "better" then you'll have a hard time going back. I think my friends will know exact what i'm talking about here so i just want to say that its not about that thing itself, this is bigger than what is going on, i'm not hurt, nobody is hurt here. I just saw something about what i can have and what i have, how i want it to be and how it is. I want to talk to someone about it but i'm not too sure people want to listen because we all live our life the way we want to and we do the things we want to and we think the way we want to. okaay that sounds wrong, i know my friends would listen but i really want them to understand that way i mean it and the way i see it. Do i regret doing the thing that made me see how it can be? a little, but i loved that feeling, i loved being in that moment and i want more of it, i want a lot more of it. I regret thinking the way i did today, in a way.
I right now kind of get the things i want from the two different things,i'm not super happy about it because i now know what "more" feels like but i'll work with it, do my best. The thing i think scared today is that it got to me that in the matter of time- i'm going to have nothing of this, and i don't want that at all- i'm scared. I am going to feel hurt and i'm going to feel alone. I think that i'm scared because this is just one more thing when people leave you, and i don't like it. I'm going to try to talk to my friends about it so i can fix my thinking, until then i'll do my best with what i got.
i just need to add that i'm still in a good mood, i had a downer last time i wrote but i'm on top of the world guys!
a weird stretch but my body looks good sooooo yolo